Dear Readers, Below is a letter I wrote to my son.
Dear Son, These words must be written – so that there is clarity to what I am trying to say. When I was growing up – I constantly heard two things – that were really painful to me. One concerned my Dad, and one concerned my Mom. With my Mom – it was “If she doesn’t quit smoking – she’s going to die – why don’t you get her to quit smoking?” With my Dad – it was “He’s so fat – he’s going to have a stroke – why don’t you get him to lose weight?” Was it my job to do this? With my Dad – I remember sitting in his car – and crying to him – about the grandchildren he would have – and never know. As you know – he died of a stroke the week I became pregnant with you. With my Mom – I decided not to speak to her any more. I once had a close relationship with her and I was actually closer with her than I was with my Dad. I figured that if I didn’t speak to her – I would get used to not speaking to her, and so if she died, life would not be too different. After a year – she actually did quit smoking. Not because of me – but because she could no longer breath. It was too late. And what had I gained by not speaking to her? I gained nothing – I had one less year of life with my mother. And now my son – it is you I fear losing. I am helpless, and I am hurting. I don’t want to live one moment without you. I’ve avoided your phone calls the past few days – trying to adjust to life without you. The fact is, I wouldn’t want to live without you. Your health is your issue – but your life is my heart. Please stop breaking my heart. I beg you to embrace your health. As you can see in the above photo, he heard me. He saved his life, and fixed my broken heart.